I’ve recently been reading about confidence because it is often the reason for clients looking me up and buying my services. They have often been trying on their own to move jobs, get a promotion or get back onto the employment ladder (more recently falling off the ladder due to the impact of Covid). However, their confidence has dipped, they may have been overlooked for a promotion, or had no success at applications or interviews and they need some help to look at what they have been doing from a different perspective.
I read a Harvard Business Review article from back in 2012 by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, who suggest ‘Less Confident People are More Successful’.
He identifies the following 3 points.
- Lower self-confidence makes you pay attention to negative feedback and be self-critical.
- Lower self-confidence can motivate you to work harder and prepare more.
- Lower self-confidence reduces the chances of coming across as arrogant or being deluded.
I thought about the clients I help, and I know they would probably agree with the statements to a certain extent, but lower self-confidence can also stop you doing things you really want to do. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed sensible to look at confidence as a sliding scale. One extreme being highly confident and the other being totally unconfident. It would also seem sensible to be looking for somewhere in the middle, where you are confident enough to move forward with your career, but not so confident that you come across as arrogant.
Neither do I believe that confidence is intrinsically linked to competence i.e., you get more confident as you get more competent. I have met and worked with people that are extremely competent but have a lack of confidence. Confidence can also be transitory and last a short time due to something that has or is happening in your life, or it can be more long term and something that an individual must cope with daily.
Many of my clients can relate to imposter syndrome (https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a27018815/what-is-impostor-syndrome/), which can impact on anyone at any level and I remember several years ago, listening to a presentation from a top female trouble shooter, who went into blue chip companies to make them more profitable. This top businesswoman recounted her struggle with imposter syndrome every day of her life. The expectation is often that successful people are ultimately confident, but that can be far from the truth!
“New research by NatWest has found nearly two thirds (60%) of women have considered starting their own business but haven’t due to feelings commonly associated with imposter syndrome”. https://www.rbs.com/rbs/news/2019/05/60–of-women-put-off-starting-a-business-due-to-imposter-syndrom.html (2019)
There seems to be more data available for women and the impact of imposter syndrome and it is true that early research focussed on women. However, it has been recognised that imposter syndrome impacts on both men and women equally.
The video in this link is quite useful to gain a better understanding of imposter syndrome, if you are reading about it for the first time and think it may be something that relates to you.
For many people, overcoming confidence issues is a real struggle and you may be thinking that it’s too much and you are better off just giving in and accepting your low confidence. Don’t do that! Here are some of the reasons for working on your confidence and getting some help to maximise your progress.
- Ability to do things that you would not normally do, such as applying for that job or talking to your line manager about being involved in a project to develop your skills and experience.
- Keep a positive mind set because actions follow what we think. Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t — you’re right.”
- You have higher expectations of yourself, aiming higher and achieving higher.
- You are able to say yes to opportunities that arise or no to additional work or opportunities that will not progress your career and feel confident that you know what is right for you.
- You can stand up for yourself and for other’s when needed.
- You can get your point across in meetings or during an interview
Be kind to yourself and don’t berate yourself if your confidence is faltering, talk about it instead. Get some and support and reach your goals!
